#OverheardAtWork

Hope this exploitation of those on H1B visas and working at KPMG ends soon!

Overheard in the design studio. The lead architect looked at a junior designer's 3D model and said, "It’s a beautiful concept, if the client is a villain from a 1980s cartoon." To be fair, it did look...

I’m a high school teacher, and during lunch in the staff lounge, the history teacher walked in looking utterly defeated. She told the principal, "A student tried to convince me his dog ate his homewor...

"It seems like every other week, I get excited about something, only to be told that I didn't seem to care when someone else was excited about something earlier, as if I was keeping score in the first...

"Sometimes, I look at people and just think that their life is one long hangover even though they don't drink."

I was sitting in HR finishing up some paperwork when the director’s door opened. She was talking to a manager. She looked him dead in the eye and said, "Michael, micro-managing their bathroom breaks i...

I was in the server room today helping our network admin clear out some old cables. He was on the phone with a remote user. He finally said, "Sir, turning it off and on again won't fix the fact that y...

Hosted an open house yesterday. A couple was looking at the master bedroom, and the husband muttered, "It's nice, but is it 'hide from your family for three hours' nice?" 🤭

"I'm not saying she's a witch, but my printer literally only jams when she walks by."

I work at a large big-box sporting goods store. A customer brought in a cornhole set to return and claimed it was defective. When I asked how it was defective he explained that when you throw the bean...

"We aren't lying, we are just presenting the truth in a highly optimistic parallel universe."

The head chef wasscreaming at a bag of onions, saying, "You don't respect the prep station, and you certainly don't respect me!"

“It’s as if I’ve lived through this before and didn’t really enjoy it.”

We were in the middle of a massive strategy deck review with a notorious micro-manager. Our senior consultant got completely cornered on a flawed metric, paused for a dramatic three seconds, and said,...

"Sometimes I feel like cow, mooing at the internet."

"I had a bad feeling, it's gone now. Hahahahaha."

"Maybe forbidding things is just way too subtle for a thousand years later where people hate learning instead of love it."

“I feel like I used to get away with not having an opinion because people would ignore children rather than force an opinion out of them.”

“If it seems like I tend to not respect people it’s probably because they use emojis instead of English, but they do the same because I don’t use emojis, not because they think I don’t respect them.”

“My knowing how you feel is not going to make me like you any more.”