Pros
A truly innovative payroll system that completely removes the burden of actually paying employees. Very forward-thinking cost-saving initiative. Fantastic opportunity to experience what it’s like to be told everything is fine while watching the company actively implode around you. Leadership offers masterclasses in confidence without competence. Truly inspiring to witness someone speak so authoritatively while being so spectacularly out of their depth. A future as White House Press Secretary beckons. Great team spirit — nothing unites staff quite like collectively realising nobody is getting paid. If you enjoy fiction, you’ll love the regular updates about mystery investors and magical buyouts that apparently exist somewhere between fantasy and delusion.
Cons
Salaries apparently operate on a “surprise and suspense” payment schedule (three months unpaid and counting). Pension contributions seem to have been placed into a parallel universe where they have not been seen for nearly a year. Job security is outstanding right up until the moment everyone is made redundant. Communication from leadership is frequent, confident, and almost entirely detached from reality. Accountability appears to be a banned concept at senior level. The alleged acquisition announcements provide exciting plot twists, although unfortunately they don’t extend to paying employees or keeping the company solvent. Career progression is somewhat limited when the organisation is heading toward liquidation.
