SSS - Project Engineer Salt Separation Services Employee Review

Exceptional resilience training. You'll master the art of treading water whilst convincing everyone you love to swim. Team building. Nothing will bond people like a Mexican Wave of eyerolling at the bi-hourly, priority-changing, meeting-for-meetings-sake. Feedback is welcome, as is the practice of filtering it to make the opposition that comes pouring in less salty, lighter, smoother.

Communication flows decisively downhill. Anything attempting to travel upwards seems to pass through an elaborate purification process before resurfacing as "great morale all around". Workloads arrive in tsunami fashion, praise in drips. Accountability evaporates with impressive speed. The nearby sandwich shop recently closed. Officially? Unrelated. Unofficially, stagnant vapours of the tears of staff kept wafting over there, and even the bread on the most "Perfect Sandwich" can only absorb so much.

There was a nice sandwich shop....

Weekly policy roulette: a constantly churning butter of rules that change without warning, logic, or pasteurisation. Just as you’ve finished adjusting, you’re expected to have foreseen the next reversal.... apparently strategic foresight is now a core dairy competency. The Daily Milk Allocation Policy is the cream of the crop. Rather than ordering more during colder months, employees are encouraged to “be mindful.” Translation: do not milk the system, even when the system has already skimmed everything it can. I’ve since been diagnosed with osteomalacia, which is an udderly impressive outcome for a cost saving measure framed as “wellness.” Truly a moo-ving example of how thin you can stretch the herd before bones (not budgets) start to crack.