I have worked in nonprofit spaces for years. THIS, was not anything like those experiences in the worst ways possible. I started this job hopeful and excited -- the combination of youth work and writing were a dream come true. This was my dream job. That changed when I asked a few questions about the organization as a whole. With my background in youth programs, I asked managers and directors about our standards for basic youth work needs: mandated reporter trainings and certifications, partnerships with schools (now or in the future), and other questions about the overall structure of the org. With half answers and avoidance, I quickly found out that questions were not only NOT welcome in this space, but they were seen as a challenge of authority. It wasn't long before my coworkers and direct supervisor (one of the only supervisors who respected us and treated other programs team members like actual people) noticed that our most direct manager was consistently targeting me during staff meetings and individually. Any comment I made was taken extremely aggressively, to the point in which even other managers would step in to stop escalation. Despite multiple conversations about this, as well as other reports from colleagues to HR, our experiences were not taken seriously. And if they were, they were brushed away just as quickly. In my time at Girls Write Now, I experienced serious belittlement from almost all leadership -- essentially, no matter what experience and years of work you were bringing into the organization you were seen as a child if you weren't over 35. To be constantly doubted and micromanaged for even just a few months made everyone, including myself, miserable enough to no longer see this as "the dream job," but instead as a horrible mistake. If this weren't enough, the phycological toll of microaggressions ran rampant by the DEI-eager directors. No serious changes could be made, since all the directors are unaware that they are part of the problem to such an extreme degree. Lastly, this organization is more focused on their public image than they are about the people they serve. None of the directors are people oriented; none of them have youth work or nonprofit backgrounds (and they are nowhere close to charismatic). But what they lack in experience, they make up for in great connections (see: white supremacy at work). This organization is a joke of a nonprofit -- one really has to wonder what they are doing with all the donations that they are receiving. I've worked in organizations with a lot less revenue who gave back tenfold to the communities that they served. But I'm sure the primarily BIPOC mentee base of GWN sure does look appealing for the grants being written. I left Girls Write Now as a worse version of myself. I entered the organization with genuine happiness, only to be made to feel as if my kindness and curiosity were unprofessional and unwanted. Girls Write Now consistently made it a point to make me and others feel small and made any mistake made feel catastrophic (despite that fact that mistakes were being made because we were not being trained -- we were being bullied to produce endless workshops within chaotic timelines, all arbitrarily made). All the references and every employer I've ever had could tell you that I would always come in with my best self first. You have to in youth work spaces. A month after leaving, I am still working on bringing my past self back -- all my light and all my best. I luckily now work for an amazing organization who not only sees my value on their team, but also takes every chance it can to remind me that I'm in my position because of what I bring to the table. I am somebody, and I am respected. I, and all the colleagues I saw leave within my short time at Girls Write Now, deserved better. We all deserved respect. And we still deserve that time back.
