- Leadership Vacuum: Management changes direction more often than a Roomba hitting furniture. Vision statements are just vibes.
- Work-Life Mirage: Officially supports work-life balance, but unofficially expects Slack replies weekends at 5am and considers PTO requests a personal attack.
- Toxic Positivity Culture: Feedback loops are closed. Criticism is labeled “not a team player.” If you’re not smiling, you’re part of the problem.
- Micromanagement Olympics: Low trust environment where even sending an email requires three approvals and a minor blood sacrifice.
- DEI Theater: Publicly champions diversity, privately still operates like an old boys’ club with slightly better fonts.