IF YOU ARE OR KNOW SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN ADMITTED.
Then saddle up partner, you’re in for a ride that would triumph the insanity of Willy Wonka!
First and foremost, consider yourself “part of the team” after your first nervous breakdown. (estimated 30-45 days from start date)
Once you sign that offer, prepare to question your pure existence, decisions and competency, even if you have 20+ years’ experience… Congratulations, you are now an IDIOT, welcome to the company.
Thank you for accepting this position… you are now responsible for 4 additional roles (supplemental pay not provided), we know that’s not what was agreed within your job descriptions… I guess that sucks for you. "thank you come again"
Let’s begin. When was the last time you cried or experienced a mental breakdown? Gear up, it’s required weekly. Prepare to normalize the anticipation of belittling behavior and “Finger Pointed” degrading when the “QUEEN” arrives. [side note]: Always preformed in front of an audience.
Have you ever stuck your hand at the end of a vacuum? Well, imagine instead of your hand, it’s your body, and the vacuum is the bottomless pit to Hell. Hope you enjoy summer months!
Ever experience PTSD? (Specialist co-pay is $35)
Overwhelming feeling of constant nervousness? (Prescription co-pay $25.00)
How about panic-stricken heart palpitations? (Medical Transport is $500)
*approximate company provided benefit co-pays for reference*
Remember, take 2 steps forward and 666 steps back, have no fear, you will never get to the finish line!